“And he that shall humble himself shall be exalted”

Matthew 23:12

            Have you ever found yourself in a situation where something or someone caused your mind to become irritated and you just could not fight it off? And then, you ended up either lashing out on that person, or stayed in a bad mood because you constantly kept thinking about that thing that irritated you. Think about how you dealt with that irritation. Did you act on that anger and hurt another person or damage something? Did you storm off to a room to be left alone with your irritating thoughts in the hopes that they would go away? Did you choose to cool down a while and talk to the person who may have been irritating you? Irritations are going to come in our lives rain or shine. It is ultimately up to us in how we deal with these debilitating emotions to not hinder any close relationships or ruin precious things we value.

            How do we deal with those moments where we find ourselves ready to fling a fist or throw something against a wall? It has to do with humbling ourselves and riding our lives of pride that become more of a burden than help. Pride wants us to be in control of all that is around us, including those we love. A spouse didn’t do the dishes the way you would have done them. A parent made a chocolate dessert instead of vanilla. A child made their bed in manner that was displeasing to the parent who wants “military corners”. You may think that these examples are trivial and not that big of a deal but looking at it from the perspective of a person being prideful, they are more than just trivial. President Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk titled “Beware of Pride”. I am sure just by the title alone, you can guess what the topic was on. In his talk he stated,

“pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance. The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition’. It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us”
(Benson, 1989).

            If we can’t find the way to humble ourselves over the small things that irritate us, then the emotions will just continue to build and get stronger and eventually turn into something much bigger. It creates a snowball effect full of pride and anger. Pride is not always associated with anger towards others. It consists of emotions that one is better than another. Pride builds a fear that we worry what others think of us, when we only need to worry about what God thinks of us (Benson, 1989). Humbling ourselves, turning to Christ and repenting is what chisels away our pride. In H. Wallace Goddard’s book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, he speaks of what happens when do not humble ourselves. Goddard shares,

“When we have tossed sacrifice, obligation, and unselfishness from our contributions to relationships, we have nothing left but an empty egocentrism. We do not have the humility to repent. And, without repentance, there is neither growth nor redemption”
(Goddard, 2009).

Holding on to irritations, no matter how small, is building pride. But if we choose to be humble in these small moments, and repent for being irritated, we are opening the doors for our hearts to receive more light and truth. Goddard says that, “humility is the friend of truth” (2009, p. 71). I believe this to be true. I know there have been countless times in my marriage and in raising my children that I have and do become irritated. Having those feelings do not make me appreciate my family, nor do they help me strengthen these relationships. There have been times while I was upset or angry at others that I acted as the victim and wished they would apologize or do better. But I realized that I was just being prideful and not willing to see their point of view. Goddard shares that whenever we are feeling “irritated with our spouse (or anyone), that irritation is no an invitation to call our spouses (or others) to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility” (2009, p. 77).

To be humble is not always an easy task, but it has the grandest rewards and blessings. Being humble means that we sacrifice our will of wanting to BE RIGHT, to doing WHAT IS RIGHT. Humbling ourselves means we are teachable and have a desire to learn. I know in my life, when I have chosen to be humble in times of strife or irritation, I am able to deal with the situation at hand better than I would have if I lashed out of anger. President Benson states it perfectly when he says, “God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. Alma said, ‘Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble’ [Alma 32:16] (Benson, 1989).

            I leave with an encouragement to you all. Challenge yourself for a week to watch for the ways in which you let pride come in between the important relationships in your life. Try eliminating the pride by giving the person you are irritated with the benefit of the doubt, or by serving them. Go to the Lord and ask Him to help rid yourself of the pride that binds your heart. He will give you opportunities to be humble, but it is up to you to recognize those opportunities and do something. I know that as I have sought diligently and sincerely for His help and guidance, He delivers, and I know that He will come to your aide too.

References

Benson, E. T. (1989). Beware of Pride . Salt Lake City .

Goddard, H. W. (2009). Drawing heaven into your marriage. Ceder Hills : Joymap Publishing.