“God is serious about cultivating our charity. Irritations with our partners are not a challenge to diplomacy as much as to our charity.
H. Wallace Goddard
It is amazing how often I remind myself that my husband and I have only been married for six years. I feel as though it has been much longer that. We have learned so much in just the short time of marriage that has drawn us closer together and has enhanced our relationship. The past year and a half, so far, has been the toughest year for us, and at the same time, the most rewarding in a way. It’s funny to look back and think that all the lessons I was learning in preparation for marriage, none of them mounted up to the true lessons I’ve learned being married. Sure, they gave me some good ideas and guidelines, but they certainly did not, nor could they, teach me all that marriage is and will be. The deepest lesson for me, when it comes to my marriage and relationship with my husband, has been that of charity.
When the topic of charity comes up, what is it? How do we truly define charity? In his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard speaks of what charity is NOT. He shares, “It is not artificial good cheer. It is not a thin veneer of politeness on a distressed soul. It is not holding our tongues while judging and resenting others” (Goddard, 2009). How often do we find ourselves serving another person but only doing it because we know it is the right thing to do and it isn’t done because we have a true compassion for that person? Can you think of time when you have shown kindness only because you wanted to feel good about yourself, or have praise from others? Or how about the times when your spouse has asked for some help with a chore and you reply with a “yes, I’ll help you” but with feelings of “why can’t they do it themselves?” If you haven’t ever had these thoughts, I praise you! But if you are like the many of us who have, please know that you are not alone! We all have opportunities to be better and to serve our spouses and others with the feelings of true charity and love, just like Christ does for us.
So, then, what is Charity and how do we obtain it? Well, there are various places we can go to learn about charity. The internet is full of advice, and yet, the most important resource I turn to learn true charity is the scriptures. In 1st Corinthians 8:4-7 we read:
“Charity
suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not
puffed up,
Doth not behave itself useemly, seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth al things, endureth all
things.”
This describes what charity is and can be. But where do we find it so that we can obtain it for ourselves? The eternal truth is through Christ. As we turn our lives to Him and see ourselves and others the way He sees us, there begins to be this change of heart and mind, and this is when charity can develop. Our Savior is the perfect example of charity. With Christ’s love and help, we can love and show charity unto others. Goddard shares, “we are to become partners with Him in the great work of salvation. We are to be swallowed up in love from Him, for Him, and like Him. Elder Caldwell concluded, ‘charity sustains us in every need and influences us in every decision’” (Goddard, 2009, p. 118).
As I have shared in previous posts about humility and surrendering our lives to God so change can happen to our hearts and souls, charity is the reward that we receive and in return we are better capable of giving it in full purpose to others. I know that as I have worked on humbling myself, submitting to His will, He blesses me with more understanding of my true potential and has opened my eyes to see others the way He does, especially my sweet husband. With charity, I have served my husband with real intent and not for gain of anything but just for the pure joy of doing it. As I have done this, I have noticed the small changes in him that were once a bother or irritation for me, but now are not. Charity is more than just serving others, it is a Christ-like attribute that changes every part of our lives and the vision we have of ourselves and others. I challenge you to turn to Christ more this week and seek for charity in its purest form, the way that Christ is charity. I know that as you do this, your life will change in a way it never has before and it will feel so good.
I end with these words from the Prophet Moroni in the Book of Mormon:
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity,
ye are nothing, for charity never faileth.
Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the
greatest of all, for charity is the pure love of
Christ, and it endureth forever”
(Moroni 7:46-47)
REFERENCES
Goddard, H. W. (2009). Drawing heaven into your marriage. Ceder Hills : Joymap Publishing.
YoursplusOurs4Eternity 