“A unity which comes to a family…softened by the Spirit will bring great power”
Elder Henry B. Eyring
Remember a time when you were part of a group, assigned to work together to accomplish a task, or a time you may have noticed a council going on where a decision needed to be made. Now, think about how it all went down. Was there a leader? Was there one or a few that didn’t pull their own weight? Was there contention among those in these groups and their discussion on how they were going to find a solution? Think of the outcome of the assignment or the outcome of the council. Were the group unanimous in their conclusions? Was there unity and understanding of different perspectives? You might be wondering what all of this has to do with my post this week. Well, I’ll tell you. We can tie this idea of working in groups to that of the family structure.
I am sure at one point in time all families have found themselves stuck in figuring out how to solve an issue, no matter how small or big. The parents might push their authority on the children to get them to comply, and then the children might become angry and obstinate to their parent’s orders. In the end, nothing ever really gets solved because the contention is too high, and no one is willing to listen to another. There is no unity. However, when the spirit is present, a family can work together as a unified whole. In his talk, “That We May Be One”, Elder Henry B. Eyring states,
“The Spirit of God never generates contention. It never generates the feelings of distinctions between people which lead to strife. It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls. A unified family, a unified Church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls” (1998).
To be unified, one must let go of pride and be willing to hear and understand the perspective of others. Parents are to be leaders of the home, but they are not to be “harsh, domineering, or dictatorial” as stated by Richard B. Miller in his article “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families” (2008). As such, children are to understand and respect that leadership by following what the parents have set forth. A unified family is where a husband and wife council together about issues and then, if appropriate, discuss possible solutions to these issues with their children. Counseling together as a family helps everyone feel like they have a part in the group. Children like to feel as though they are included in big decisions and that their opinions matter. In his 2016 General Conference address, “Family Councils”, Elder M. Russell Ballard shared, “parents need to involve all family members in dealing with challenges and adversity. When council members feel they are part of a decision, they become supporters and specific positive results can be accomplished”.
Counseling together as a family brings a deeper unity as all are working together for the greater whole. I know in our own little family, having young children it is difficult to counsel effectively. However, my husband and I have found that as we both are searching for opportunities to have discussions with our children about various topics, the Lord guides us and lets us know what our little children need to know at that point in time for themselves. Holding family councils now while our children are young, we know that it is preparing them to understand how our councils will work as they get older, and it creates a feeling of unity for them that they will want to continue counseling with their parents. Holding family councils, we are promised protection from the evil ways of the world. Elder Ballard shares,
“A family council that is patterned after the councils in heaven, filled with Christlike love, and guided by the Lord’s Spirit will help us to protect our family from distractions that can steal our precious tie together and protect us from the evils of the world” (2016).
I know that as we have been prayerful parents, seeking for unity and harmony in our home, Heavenly Father has taught us the importance of counseling together and truly listening to what our children have to say. As they have contributed to the discussion, bringing their own thoughts and minds, they too are learning what it is to be a unique individual with different opinions yet can still work well with others. A unified family brings many blessings and a family that counsels together, stays together.
REFERENCES:
Ballard, M. R. (2016). Family councils.
Eyring, H. B. (1998). That we may be one.
Miller, R. B. (2008). Who is the boss? Power relationships in families.
YoursplusOurs4Eternity 