“THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan”

(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

In today’s world, the threats against the traditional, historical union of marriage between a man and a woman are no secret. They are everywhere we go. There are news headlines all around the internet about the issue. The notion to afford same-sex marriage equal legal status has even been brought to the Supreme Court of the United States, and guess what? They “won”. But did they win in the proper process that should have taken place? Was it a fair debate in that ALL Americans could exercise their constitutional right to vote on the matter and have the outcomes of the voting be the deciding factor? Some would agree that yes, it was all done in fairness. Some others would argue that all who oppose the majorities decision are just angry and bitter. But then there are those who would absolutely argue that NO, it was not done in all fairness of what people around the world knows America to be founded on: A democracy that involves the voice of all People. As shared by Justice Clarence Thomas in his dissent:

“The result petitioners seek is far less democratic. They ask nine
judges on this Court to enshrine their definition of marriage in
the Federal Constitution and thus put it beyond the reach of the
normal democratic process for the entire Nation”

 (Obergefell v. Hodges , 2015)

           I bring this up because recently I read the decision and dissents of the Supreme Court case Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) in which the Court decided 5-4 to legalize same-sex marriage. I would have to admit, this was no “walk in the park” reading, being the fact that it is a 103-page document. But while reading it, there were truths within both sides of the case that resonated with me. The majority were the 5 Supreme Court Justices that sided with same-sex marriage, and they stated some profound reasons as to why the petitioners were fighting for their “right” to marry. For example, the petitioners wanted the right to have government benefits that are given to opposite sex couples.

          However, my post today isn’t to defend the opinion of the majority. It is to bring to light some insights and alarming conclusions stated by those who disagreed with the Court’s decision, one of them being Chief Justice John Roberts himself. I also share my beliefs and stances on the issue, and to be a witness to and protector of the sanctity and sacredness of marriage, especially within my religious beliefs.

The dissenting justices mentioned in their summaries how they felt about the process in which the decision came about.  They recognized and acknowledged the questions and concerns brought to the table by the petitioners. But the justices who dissented wanted to touch on the dangers this decision will ultimately bring to the American People, especially those who desire to and do practice religious freedom. Chief Justice Roberts expressed, “today’s decision creates serious questions about religious liberty” (Obergefell v. Hodges , 2015).

Justice Thomas stated, “numerous amici – even some not supporting the States – have cautioned the Court that its decision here will ‘have unavoidable and wide-ranging implications for religious liberty’” (Obergefell v. Hodges , 2015).

Not only were the American People not able to voice their opinions, but now, those religious sects who strongly hold on to the traditional definitions of marriage being between a man and woman will have to fight harder for their beliefs. There may be serious challenges to religious beliefs by being forced to recognize same-sex marriage.  Justice Thomas suggested such by stating the following:

“In our society, marriage is not simply a governmental institution; it is a religious institution as well. Today’s decision might change the former, but it cannot change the latter. It appears all but inevitable that the two will come in conflict, particularly as individuals and churches are confronted with demands to participate in and
endorse civil marriages between same-sex marriages”

(Obergefell v. Hodges , 2015)

       What did I take from reading the decision? That when prophecy comes to light, heed it. Don’t shy away, or run the other direction thinking it’s just a crazy notion. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that there is a prophet here on earth that leads and guides God’s children throughout the world and can prophesy of the things God would have us do and know. Our current prophet, Russell M. Nelson, spoke at a Brigham Young University commencement in 2014. He shared some strong prophetic words that day, and I feel it was a caution and plea that we, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and all Christians alike, heed the words of the ancient prophets and fight for what God would have us fight for, and in this case, it is the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. President Nelson quoted from the prophet Paul of what he saw of our day. The passage of scripture he was referring to was 2 Timothy 3:1-5 which reads:

1 “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud,
blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers,
incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the powers thereof:
From such turn away”.

This passage is describing our day! This is what is happening all around us. Because of this President Nelson admonished,

“The day is gone when you can be a quiet and comfortable Christian. Your religion is not just about showing up for church on Sunday. It is about showing up as a true disciple from Sunday morning through Saturday night—24/7! There is no such thing as a “part-time” disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus invited anyone who wants to be His disciple to take up His cross and follow Him.⁴ Are you ready to join the ranks? Will you yield to voices of those who would have you join them on the popular side of contemporary history?” (Nelson, 2014).

         These words of President Nelson are not just his words. God is asking us if we are willing to face what lies ahead. He is asking and seeking for true followers of Christ, and that includes those who protect and fight for traditional marriage. Not because it is what has been known from the beginning of time, but because we understand the importance of such a sacred union. Those who are defenders of marriage understand God’s plan for families and why God created them the way He did. Families are a central part of God’s eternal plan and they are to be formed in the way He intended. Who are we to change what has been implemented since before we even came to this earth?

      As an American and a defender of marriage, this is my voice. Marriage is between a man and a woman. It has been that way since the beginning of time, even before Adam and Eve. In the heavens, I believe that we were created by a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. I believe we were taught the proper order of families and that procreation was to happen between the sacred marital bonds of a husband and wife, man and woman who are lawfully wedded. Heavenly Father knows what perils are ahead of us, and it is up to us to know what we face and be prepared to face it, head on.

        I ask you:  Are you a defender of traditional marriage? Are you ready to take up your cross and follow Christ? Are you willing to be persecuted the sake of God’s teachings? Where do you stand, and who do you stand with?

 

 

 

 

 

References

Nelson, R. M. (2014). Disciples of Jesus Christ-Defenders of Marriage .

Obergefell v. Hodges , 14-556 (The Supreme Court April 28 , 2015).

 

 

I recently read an article by Paul R. Amato titled “The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social and Emotional Well-Being of the Next  Generation”, which spoke a great deal on what happens to children who live in part family homes, and even step-family homes. Amato states, “children in divorced families tend to have weaker emotional bonds with mothers and fathers than do their peers in two-parent families” (Amato, 2005). This struck an interesting cord with me because the impacts on chidren’s cognitive and emotional development can be huge while they are facing such situations.

Building and forming strong relationships with our loved ones is a life long journey and it is something we all desire to have. When those bonds are in danger of falling apart or even becoming nonexistent, it can be a scary thing for a child to face. Along with the article, I watched an ABC 20/20 clip titled “Divorce School for Kids“, and in it children shared their thoughts and emotions about their parents’ divorce. Some spoke about how they feared their parents remarrying because the parent would start a new family and forget about them. Listening to the perspective a child can bring a sense of truth and pain because what they say are innocent and pure. Sometimes when marriages end in divorce it becomes more of a selfish act on the couple, and they forget who else is involved. Hundreds of children all over are facing the repercussions of their parent’s separation and ultimately, they will be the ones that suffer. Everyone deserves to grow up in a home where there is loving and happily married couples, where children can have a safe refuge from the world where darkness resides.

 
When I was growing up, divorce was a thing, but it wasn’t as easily to come by because couples were highly encouraged by family members and other affiliations to work out their problems and think of all who were involved. Now, the trend is that divorce is an acceptable option that anyone can do at any time, and for any reason. Because of how many divorces have happened, many people are afraid to even step into marriage, for fear that it will just end in divorce. So, the trend now is to live together unmarried and “test the waters”, so to speak, before making that plunge into marriage or not. However, studies have shown that cohabitating relationships can be just as unstable and more likely to end up in a separation than that of married couples to divorce.

In a document titled “The State of Our Unions”, researchers speak on the effects of American family life and how marriage and child rearing has changed over the year, and how it is seen today. One of the areas they touched on was cohabitation being more acceptable and the implications it can have on children born into such unions. One study mentioned in the document stated that “on many social, educational, and psychological outcomes, children in cohabitating households do significantly worse than children in intact, married families, and about as poorly as children living in single-parent families” (Marquardt, Blankenhorn, I., Malone-Colon, & Wilcox, 2012).

 
So what? You are probably wonder what all this has to do with children and the shape of the future. Well I’ll tell you. With the diminishing of stable family structures, things are going to continue to get worse, especially for the children who essentially hold the future in their hands. I think about our societies, communities, governments, and how our children will be the ones to face the calamities and the ones possibly being the change. How can children be the change the world needs if the examples set for them are nothing but heartache and pain? As a parent myself, I evaluate often the things I can do better to help my children thrive and give stability to their lives. Am I perfect at it, no. But I know that if I want to safe guard their future and that they can be that change we hope for, it starts within our home and family life. It starts with my husband and I’s relationship and how we do things as a family. It starts with how we counsel together, problem solve, love and accept our emotions and bring acknowledgment to the needs of each other. It starts with correct principles taught by a loving Heavenly Father and passed down through us as parents to then our children. Having been a parent for about 5 years, I have come to recognize that the relationship I am striving to build with my children and the guidance we as their parents are giving them is close to the relationship and guidance Heavenly Father builds and gives to His children.

I end my post with the words from Paul R. Amato, “although it is a cliché to say that children are the future, it has never been more true as it is today” (Amato, 2005).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Amato, P. R. (2005). The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation.

Marquardt, E., Blankenhorn, D., I., L. R., Malone-Colon, L., & Wilcox, W. B. (2012). State of our Unions . Retrieved from Brigham Young University-Idaho : file:///C:/Users/roath/Downloads/faml300_document_stateOfOurUnions2012.pdf